Wow, another week of highly valuable information stuffed in
my brain all jumbled up and now it's time to make sense of it and pass on the
"better part." I think the
hardest part is trying to decide what will be the most valuable to share with
you! As the title suggests, we discussed a lot about the different roles men
and women play. First let me ask a question, besides body parts, are men and
women really that different? Are there really specific roles that men are
better at than women? Or women better than men? Once again the Family: A
Proclamation to the World, states that, "Gender is an essential
characteristic of individual pre-mortal, mortal, and eternal identity and
purpose." One cannot, however conclude that one gender is superior or
inferior to one or the other. The Lord clarifies the roles of each gender when
he says, "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in
love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life
and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the
nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and
mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners" (emphasis
added). Here we learn the general roles of fathers and mothers individually.
Though mothers may be "primarily" responsible for the nurturing of
their children, fathers and mothers each play an essential role in showing love
to their children. Now a note on the word "equal." Something I
realized this week was that the words "same" and "equal" do
NOT mean the same thing. I understand that there are many feminine thinkers out
there and think that women are some how under minded by men because they won't
"allow" them to do the same jobs that men do. The fact of the matter
folks, is that men and women are different. They should be treated equal but
not the same. We need each other to achieve the greatest satisfaction in this
life. Men and women were built to compliment each other not to compete against
one another. Just like how we are all blessed with different talents and
abilities, we are born with different spirits. And thank goodness! If we all
acted like just men or just women, how boring would life be?
This brings me to another highly debated topic in today's
society. That of same gender attraction. First, I wanted to define a few
different terms. Same gender attraction refers to people who may find someone
of their same gender sexually attractive. Homosexuality is acting on those
thoughts, or sexualizing someone of their same gender either in thoughts or
actions. Now the term "gay" or "lesbian" drive me nuts.
There are so many presumptions that come when we call someone gay or lesbian.
My teacher made a very good point in class to illustrate this frustration I
have with these terms. If you think about it, if you were called gay because
you don't like sports or you may have a more "feminine" side, does
that mean you really are a homosexual? I have seen so many people be told that
they were gay and then they turn out that way. Makes me wonder, "If people
never used these terms, would the world be a different place? Would there be as
many people who chose this lifestyle?" There was something that I want to
make clear about people who choose this lifestyle. Many times it is a result of
being sexually abuse at some point in their life. 75% of men who identify
themselves as homosexual, said they "found out" they were that way
when they were sexually molested. (Most
of the research that we did in this class had to deal with homosexual men so
that is why I am just referring to them at present.) In fact, most of the men
that are homosexuals say that when they were younger, they felt that they never
quite fit in with the other boys because they would rather play house with the
girls or focused more on the relationships with people. They didn't feel
accepted by their own gender and many times that's when the taunting and
teasing begins. Around age 10 or 11 boys start to notice girls and the boys
that grew up playing with the girls don't understand what the big deal is?
They're just girls? Well those boys who already have a good relationship with
girls, then sought the approval of his male peers and never seems to get it. It
is often the most detrimental to not receive the approval of their father. The
relationship between father and son is so important! I cannot stress that
enough! Fathers, please please please be involved not just with your sons, but
ALL of your children.
Once again, basically the best thing that we can do for our
children, is first love our spouses. If we can accomplish that, we will be more
equipped to help and love our children the way they deserve. That's all folks.
Until next time!
Renee
Hi again,
ReplyDeleteI am curious how you make sense of the conflicting statements in the Proclamation on the Family that states, "fathers are to preside," and "fathers and mothers are... equal partners...." To "preside" means to be in a position of authority, to be equal means...to be equal. No one is in authority. Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Marriage isMarriage in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other." In the business world, a partnership learns to work together, to negotiate and compromise. Why can't a marriage? Please explain.
Also, you wrote, "if you were called gay because you don't like sports or you may have a more "feminine" side, does that mean you really are a homosexual?" No, of course being called "gay" like that, in a disrespectful and insulting manner does not mean that the person insulted is gay. It means that the person doing the insulting is completely ignorant of what it means to be gay, and is using the term gay as the ultimate insult. And then you wrote, "I have seen so many people be told that they were gay and then they turn out that way. Makes me wonder, "If people never used these terms, would the world be a different place? Would there be as many people who chose this lifestyle?"" You are not thinking critically. Think about all the people in the world who were insulted by being called gay--many of them did not, in fact, turn out to be gay. And think about all the people who weren't insulted by other people calling them gay--and they were. Being called gay does not make a person gay. Not being called gay does not make a person gay or straight.
And then you write, "Many times it is a result of being sexually abuse at some point in their life. 75% of men who identify themselves as homosexual, said they "found out" they were that way when they were sexually molested." No, this is simply not true. Please see http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0145213492900878
and
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1046/j.1525-1497.1997.012004250.x/abstract
and http://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1022307323744#page-1
and this discussion
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/warrenthrockmorton/2009/06/05/a-major-study-of-child-abuse-and-homosexuality-revisited/
You write, "First, I wanted to define a few different terms. Same gender attraction refers to people who may find someone of their same gender sexually attractive. Homosexuality is acting on those thoughts, or sexualizing someone of their same gender either in thoughts or actions."
That may be *your* definition of those terms, but that is not the *real* definition of those terms.
"Now the term "gay" or "lesbian" drive me nuts. There are so many presumptions that come when we call someone gay or lesbian."
But you don't say what those presumptions are. And the terms "gay" and "lesbian" *are* valid terms, used by the church. Why are they difficult for you?
And then you imply that a cause of male homosexuality is poor bonding between fathers and sons. Again, not true. In fact, the LDS church even states in its website, http://www.mormonsandgays.org/
"No one fully knows the root causes of same-sex attraction. Each experience is different. Latter-day Saints recognize the enormous complexity of this matter. We simply don’t have all the answers."
I really don't mean to be argumentative. I realize that you wrote all of this because your class instructor taught you this, but it really doesn't sound like the instructor (or textbook or whatever) is based on science or uses critical thinking. I don't mean to be mean. I just want you to know that there are alternate, even more valid perspectives on these concepts.