Family Vs The World

The greatest battle we face today is that of the breakdown and destruction of the traditional family in today's society. There have been a lot of recent events that have taken a toll on the family and on this blog I will present the things I am currently learning in my class about family relations. I hope you ask the questions, "What is going on with the family in society?" "Where do I stand?" and "What can I do?" Feel free to comment on what you read here! Like it, hate it, share it, or debate it; all comments are welcome.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Marital Intimacy and Complete Fidelity

I really wish you could have been there this week when we talked about this sometimes "touchy" subject. The way that we approached sexual intimacy this week, was with so much reverence that it has literally changed my perspective on just about everything about sex, fidelity, and marriage in general.

We started off the week as we spoke of the physiological things that occur during intercourse and explain the importance of having that sort of interaction with one person your whole life, and it's not just because God said so. In women, there is actually chemical called oxytocin, also known as the "bonding chemical," that is released during intercourse. This chemical is rarely released. Really the only other time it's released is when a mother is giving birth. This chemical creates a strong emotional bond with the other person. Now, if this chemical is so powerful, should it not be reserved for someone that you are "legally and lawfully" wedded to? Why would you share something so precious with anyone else?

There are other chemicals also such as Adrenalin, serotonin (also known as anti-depressant), along with dopamine (the natural kind). When the Lord commanded husband and wife to be of "one heart, one mind," it make so much sense that we would only have these experiences with one person. He gave us these powers not only to be happy and have close relationships with our spouses but also to create bodies for those waiting to come to this earth. We take part in this creation process, thus making this experience not just physically/emotionally satisfying, but also spiritually uplifting. It is through this process that we can find ourselves closer to God than in any other setting. What a wonderful opportunity that is! 

The other thing that we talked about that I really wanted to emphasize is the topic of infidelity. We learned that having sexual relationships outside of marriage is not the only type of infidelity. 


Emotional
Physical
Detached
Fantasy
Visual
Attached
Romantic
Sexual


We read a paper entitled, "INFIDELITY: PROTECTING OUR MARRIAGES," written by Scott Gardner & Christian Greiner and it describes these four types of infidelity. (click here for full text)

Fantasy Affair (emotional/detached) is characterized by having an emotional affair with someone who has no knowledge about what is taking place, or with someone who is anonymous and would likely never be met. Examples can include flirting online or otherwise fantasizing romantically about someone other than a spouse. This violates the commandment given to Eve that her “desire” should be unto her husband (Genesis 3:16).

Visual Affairs (detached/physical), such as pornography are perhaps the most common type of infidelity. They are categorized as “physical” because they do typically involve the viewer acting out sexually. The Lord has warned us that we should not look upon anyone lustfully. While this includes wondering eyes, it also includes any form of sexual media. Pornography in all forms is strictly forbidden along with any Internet site, magazine, movie, and book where immodesty is portrayed. (Side note: think about the chick flicks you have seen; how many of us afterward, consciously or subconsciously, compare the characters to our own spouses? Do you see a wedge that could potentially create in your relationship with your spouse? Food for thought.)

Romantic Affair (emotional/attached) occurs when an individual becoming emotionally involved with a specific person other than his or her spouse. A romantic affair is characterized by a “second life” and is a result of trying to escape the monotony of everyday life

And finally, the one we associate most with infidelity, is Sexual Affair (physical/attached) occurs when a person engages in sexual acts outside the bonds of marriage with or without emotional attachment.

As we discussed further in class, we made a list of things that would be considered "infidelity" according to these definitions, we thought about the commandment, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shall cleave unto her and none else" (D&C 42:22) What does that mean to “cleave unto her and none else?” We talked about how friends, hobbies, your church calling, work, etc, should not interfere with your relationship with your spouse. Going back to the R.A.M. attachment theory, the more we know, trust, rely, commit or touch something, the more we are attached to that person/thing. What that person is not our spouse our attachment with our spouse will shift from them to the person or object to which we are spending our time with. This is why it is important to be careful of any relationship we have outside of our marriage, whether a friend, co-worker of the same or opposite gender, or our boat, because we could jeopardize putting something before our spouse that really shouldn’t be.  

So how are you doing? Are there things that you need to change to strengthen your marriages and make them “Affair Proof?”

The last thing I wanted to say, I’ll make it short and sweet. You may have asked yourself a time or two, “How can I talk to my children about sex? When do I talk to them about it? Should I even talk about it? What if it gives them more ideas??” If you have asked these questions, you would be considered a part of the majority of parents. These are very important questions! If there is one thing that I learned this week, it is the importance of children receiving such sacred information from the lips of their own parents.  So what is the best way to go about that “touchy” subject? To keep my promise of keeping this short, I wanted to refer you to a manual available by my church that addresses all of these questions. It is a great resource! I hope you will explore it! It is so important to educate our children correctly so that they will not look to their friends or teachers at school, or heaven forbid, the internet for their answers. It is also important to start young. Believe it or not, you can start teaching your children about it from birth! Find out by reading, "A Parent's Guide."

I wish you all the best! Until next time!

Renee :)


1 comment:

  1. Awesome post, made me think about what does get put in front of spouses sometimes, jobs, hobbies, friends, games, the list could go on and on!

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